Past Midnight

 

I’ve just been into our eldest son’s room. It’s late, past midnight and he woke up to start babbling away about anything and everything. He does this every so often. It’s almost as if his brain wakes him up out of excitement. A kind of ‘I think I know how to say such and such… Wake up so we can practice!’.

I don’t mind. I really don’t. I actually love to listen to his babble and random phrases. It beats the deafening, bone chilling pitch that used to come from teething or hunger when he was teeny… not that I am past all that yet though, I have his younger brother to pick up that baton for now!

After a while of listening to tonight’s babble show, I went in to check all was ok and picked him up to grab a cuddle. I do this often with the babble nights, especially now he is two and a half, they happen much fewer and further between. I love this type of cuddle. The It’s-Past-Midnight cuddle, where the others are asleep, its just us and I can stand there holding him, with his arms about my neck and his legs wrapped around my waist whilst he lays his head on my shoulder. We don’t talk or even look at each other. We just exist in that hug. He usually curls my hair around his fingers and I breathe in his scent… Baby Bath bubbles, Lenor fabric softener and what I call ‘toddler boy smell’. My very own mummy heroin, my addiction since his birth.

 

I was soaking up my ‘fix’ tonight when, suddenly, IT just struck me again. BAM! Like a lightning bolt. Every time.

 

They grow up.

 

I know, I know. It’s ridiculous. Of course they grow up? That’s the whole point. But does it have to happen so bloody fast??

 

Day to day it doesn’t feel like it does. The monotony of routine fools you into a false sense of security (and sometimes dread) that things will always stay the same and a long road stretches ahead with the only pit stops being nappy changes, soft play, meal times and piles of washing.
But things don’t stay the same. One minute you are cuddling a new born to your chest and the next you are buckling under the weight of your toddler who’s woken up to announce to his bedroom ‘Oh! Hi Train!’.

I always feel like the beautiful moments like these are bittersweet. If I could grab them and put them into a glass bottle to be snuffed into my brain whenever I felt like it, BFG style, then I would do so with both hands. And feet.

 

 

 

But, instead, I try to imprint it on my memory. The smell of him. The weight of him. The magic of the hug and the sound of his babble. I feel thankful to the imprinted memories I already have, that fly back to me when my brain sees fit to do a timeline comparison during a special moment like it did tonight. I wouldn’t marvel at the change in him if I hadn’t have imprinted in my mind what it was like to cradle him as a new born or as a baby.

 

So, as much as it pains me to be given a whack in the face by Father Time, I bow my head to him and thank Mother Nature along the way. I admire and respect them both… Especially when hugging my child, past midnight.



#ablogginggoodtime

My Random Musings

Comments

  1. October 26, 2017 / 8:46 pm

    I love this post! You have captured the feelings perfectly and I love the BFG jar analogy too! You will also have this blog to look back at. I wish I had started blogging when mine were younger so I could have captured these moments. Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime ๐ŸŽ‰

    • mebeingmummy
      October 30, 2017 / 12:38 am

      Ahhh, thank you lovely, am so glad to hear it. It is definitely one of the reasons that I blog. Memories are so important! It will give them a lovely keepsake in years to come, and help me to remember as much as I can. xxx

    • mebeingmummy
      October 31, 2017 / 1:26 pm

      Hehe! Thank you lovely xxx

  2. October 30, 2017 / 7:54 am

    I understand this completely. Now my children have moved out I watch them across a room sometimes and just want to take it all in – the adults they are, the way they carry themselves and are kind to others –
    every bit of it – I don’t want to miss a thing x Oh and I love Lenor too – I named my son James because there was a boy at school called James who always smelt of Lenor and I thought ‘his mum loves him’ –
    I loved the name ever since haha x #HoneybeeLinky

    • mebeingmummy
      October 31, 2017 / 1:26 pm

      Haha! That’s such a brilliant back story to your son’s name! I was going to be called James if I had been a boy ๐Ÿ™‚ I can’t imagine the time when my two shall be grown up and have left home. I know the time will come sooner than I think it will though. Time is sneaky like that! xxx

  3. October 30, 2017 / 8:23 am

    This is lovely and so true. Im always amazed at how quickly my daughter is growing up and it never really hits me until I look back on old photos. I’d love to be able to cherish moments in a bottle and come back to them at any time, even if only for a lovely cuddle once in a while when shes all grown up xx

    • mebeingmummy
      October 31, 2017 / 1:23 pm

      Exactly. I dread the day they stand before me as men and I feel a pang for this time. That is why a blog is so great, it keeps all these special memories for you to look back on in a tangible way with documented events and pictures ๐Ÿ™‚ xxx

  4. October 30, 2017 / 8:51 am

    This is beautiful! I remember when my toddler was a newborn I made sure I took the time to just stare at her and think to myself, I must remember this moment! I currently have a napping toddler on me and Iโ€™m savouring the cuddles!

    • mebeingmummy
      October 31, 2017 / 1:22 pm

      Thank you! Awww, nap time cuddles are just as beautiful and night time ones! xxx

    • mebeingmummy
      October 31, 2017 / 1:17 pm

      xxx

  5. October 30, 2017 / 7:24 pm

    Beautifully written, I just hold on to the fact that they are healthy and happy ๐Ÿ™‚ X #honeybeelinky

    • mebeingmummy
      October 31, 2017 / 1:16 pm

      Thank you! Yes, definitely, those are the main things to be thankful for. xx

  6. October 30, 2017 / 7:40 pm

    This was such a lovely post to read. I can totally relate to that moment of realisation that your baby is growing up. It often hits me during the night too. #HoneybeeLinky

    • mebeingmummy
      October 31, 2017 / 1:16 pm

      Thank you lovely, I think it happens in the middle of the night because it is all still and calm, nothing to distract you from just looking at them and being with them. xx

  7. October 30, 2017 / 8:49 pm

    Beautiful. Just beautiful. I know exactly what you mean and those middle of the night cuddles are the best. I say this after having booted husn out of bed last night in favour of a restless and somewhat kicky child who couldn’t sleep, but when he wasn’t kicking me it was perfect xx

    • mebeingmummy
      October 31, 2017 / 1:13 pm

      Haha! Am sure hubby got more sleep than you in the long run! The perfect bits erase the kicky bits ๐Ÿ˜‰ xxx

  8. The Mummy Bubble
    October 31, 2017 / 6:30 am

    This is such a beautiful post. I too have held my baby in the middle of the night and tried to commit it all to memory. The weight and smell of her. Sometimes it’s hard but it’s such a brief period in time it’s good to cherish it. X #honeybeelinky

    • mebeingmummy
      October 31, 2017 / 1:11 pm

      Exactly, these are the moment to cherish and look back on in years to come xx

  9. November 1, 2017 / 4:11 am

    Beautifully written. What a whirlwind experience it is, isn’t it. And raising more than one child, meaning we are simultaneously in two separate boats of feelings, it’s just amazing. Loved every bit of this post. #honeybeelinky

    • mebeingmummy
      November 1, 2017 / 9:19 pm

      Thank you so much my darling, that is exactly how it is! Am so pleased you loved it! xxx

  10. November 1, 2017 / 10:07 am

    This is such a beautiful post. I love those moments too and I also try to imprint every sense of a moment to my memory. My son’s smell, the feel of his soft baby hair against my cheek, the sound of his little snores when he falls asleep in my arms. I did the same with all four but the memories of my oldest being this small have faded a lot more than I’d like. Motherhood is such a wonderful blessing and time passes TOO fast.
    #HoneyBeeLinky

    • mebeingmummy
      November 1, 2017 / 9:18 pm

      Thats what worries me because I try to remember my eldest being really small and it all blurs into one! Thank god for technology… we are always taking pictures and little videos as I know they will be so precious to look at in time to come. Thank you for subscribing lovely! xxx

  11. November 1, 2017 / 4:36 pm

    Oh my goodness I so know what you mean about wanting to bottle the moments!!!! This is lovely x x #honeybeelinky

    • mebeingmummy
      November 1, 2017 / 9:12 pm

      Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could?! Thank you lovely xxx

  12. November 3, 2017 / 10:17 pm

    Beautifully written. I always pop in and see them sleeping, brush their hair away their face and steal a kiss. Now Reuben is older he is getting so heavy and I find it hard to carry him but I do and he will wrap his arms around me. My favourite times are when he is semi asleep and he will call out to me to tell me he loves me. #HoneybeeLinky

    • mebeingmummy
      November 6, 2017 / 12:57 am

      Awww, how adorable. I am finding it increasingly hard to lift Teddy and dread the day I won’t be able to. Those wrap around hugs are just so yummy. xxx

  13. November 5, 2017 / 9:54 pm

    It’s so true. My daughter’s 6 and we’ve just got her latest school photos back – she looks about 10 and I don’t like it at all!

    • mebeingmummy
      November 6, 2017 / 1:00 am

      Horrible feeling isn’t it? But good to be reminded of what we need to treasure. Time just flies past too quickly! xxx

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