Me, Being Mummy: The Importance of Friends

Every now and again, I take time to reflect on what is really important. What enriches my life and helps me function and be at my best. This post is all about my weird, wonderful and amazing Friends. My friends mean the world to me. They drive me nuts at times, they make me sad at times and they even make me boiling mad at times. But, I love them. Most I have known for at least half my life, one nearly all of it. They are the family I get to choose and they keep me grounded, safe. A bit like a seatbelt during life’s rollercoaster ride…. a little comfort blanket for when life is a bit harsh.

Friendship is actually one of the motivators for me with writing this blog. It means everyone can keep up to date with what and how we are doing and how Teddy is growing plus helps involve them all in the construction of his childhood, the very foundation of his life. That is of course if they actually find time to read it! They’re used to me rambling by now and probably choose to bypass it on their newsfeed! ha!

I can’t imagine what it would feel like not to have friendship in my life.. A fact that was made abundantly clear when recently, one very dear friend of mine who has been living in China for the past couple of years, came home for a two day stop over on his way to a new job in Turkey. It felt so lovely to see him, even in spite of the short time we got to catch up. Hence it also felt shitty to have him go again. It is something I am still not accustomed to, despite it being a regular occurrence. Prior to his visit, another equally dear friend of mine came home from New Zealand to see Teddy when he was born but left a month or so after to continue her adventures in Australia. Another treasure is in Wales. Another in Reading, Hastings…. Liverpool. You can see the pattern forming here right?

I miss them all the time. I resent distance, the never ending emails that are poor substitute for face to face conversation and that never fully convey what is going on and how I am feeling. The fact people like to travel or live other places located outside a 5 mile radius from me is confusing and it constantly feels like I have lost something.. sometimes even that I myself am lost. Milestones pass by that I wish they had seen, parties and meals out and cinema dates happen without them to share it with and I cry. A lot. But I remind myself that I am lucky in the fact that I have them and that our friendship is timeless. They are like a comfy pair of slippers that I can just slip my feet back into (not literally.. that would be gross, weird and the opposite of comfortable) and feel instantly at home. And I lose myself in the ones that are nearby and at the ready to pick up the slack that the others are unable to manage.

Having a baby, hell, even just a busy lifestyle in general, means that it is so easy to get caught up in what is going on with you and your new addition/new job/new house/new relationship – whatever – you barely have time to think or form a sentence, let alone find a whole evening to focus on someone else and all their news. But do it. Don’t drop your friends. Even if it is a quick text or a quick coffee, that contact is so important. Don’t think you are being selfish by taking that time out to be you, or give into the tiredness and opt for your bed or Netflix when you can spend a moment with someone you value and who values you. Sometimes I just have my friends over and don’t even speak much, its enough just to have them around for a hug and to rest my head on their shoulder for support or listen to their voices as opposed to a baby’s cry!

Motherhood is an amazing time, full of joys and wonder. But, as most know, it is also a scary and unsure time. Like I’ve said in other posts, the world changes but stays just the same. My friend’s are my constant. My little light houses in life’s turbulent sea.

Myself (second in from the left) and some of my nearest and dearest.

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