Can I just start this post by addressing the fact that I suffer with major anxiety. I’ve touched on it in other posts before, but I have to mention it here because then you will be just as amazed at myself this week as I am… if that makes sense.
I sometimes struggle to get going you see. I usually get hit with a massive burst of motivation and energy at around 2AM. Ever the night owl, I will be kept awake with all of these fantastic ideas and notions and then by the time I have calmed my thoughts and hit slumber, the alarm (or baby) calls for me to start the day and I suddenly feel as though I am wading through treacle. Then all plans usually go out of the window and I end up on the sofa under a blanket, entertaining the kids with toys and telly whilst berating myself for my shitness (is shitness a word? Shittiness? Shit-ness? You catch my drift anyway!).
That is the beauty (ha!) of anxiety and depression, good old insomnia and its rammifications.
But, this week.. actually for the last couple of weeks… I have been fighting against my urges to sit or lay down as well as silencing all those inner voices inside that like to critique my every move and decision. Energy has been back, motivation has been charged and I have had a very productive head on my shoulders. And it’s been a good and positive week. And a busy one!
Notable events have to be forerun by the fact we viewed and enrolled Teddy into a lovely little nursery in the village and he has had two sessions there this week. It’s such a sweet setting, surrounded by open fields, woodland and a little farm shop with livestock outside for all the children to look at whilst out on their little ‘adventures’.
I am waiting to see if the realisation hits him that this is a permanent twice weekly arrangement rather than a one off thing. So far he is loving it and throwing himself in without a backwards glance my way during drop off. Long may it continue but I’m prepared for him to wobble as the time goes on. It’s a big deal being little and doing something quite massive such as nursery. I suppose it must sound slightly dramatic of me to say so but, from a near 3 year old’s perspective, you are finding yourself in a strange yet exciting place, with different but friendly people whilst getting used to interacting and socializing properly with other children when the most you have ever done socially is the odd play group, park jaunt or rough and tumble with cousins on family occasions. I’d be rocking in a corner if it was me! But then I’m an over thinker. May my offspring never know such needless torment!
So yes, nursery has been started and whilst Teddy was there on Thursday, we had an appointment for George to see his paediatric cardiologist to check and see how his heart has been doing. Cue myself and PB keeping a rather tearful and bemused George both still and quiet whilst having a doplar scan conducted for what felt like forever but was probably only five minutes.
Amazing news followed our efforts though, with the consultant telling us that George’s heart is healthy and normal, all thickening of the heart muscle and possible VSD (hole in the heart wall) have managed to self repair leaving him with a perfect little ticker. Isn’t biology mind bogglingly awesome?! He fixed himself. In a year. I am still processing it to be honest (how can he just fix himself?! That’s nuts! Brilliant. But nuts!) however I know that both myself and PB reflected on it that afternoon and let out huge sighs of relief that all is ok. We have two very happy and healthy little boys.
We have had nice times going to play groups and soft play. On Friday morning we had a breakfast date with our friend Amber at one of our favourite places to eat, The Perch in lancing and apart from George getting in a temper and throwing a plate to the ground in a very Greek fashion (shards of crockery everywhere… I was mortified and reprimanded him by plonking him on the floor and away from the table until he showed remorse) it was a really nice way to start the day. Just look at the delicious full English they serve… mouth wateringly good!
Apart from working, more softplay, making a mad dash to Lidl when I realised we were down to our last few nappies and a rare date night with PB to see the new Avengers movie (we loved it!) I think that’s all we’ve been up to really.
Oh! And a carboot sale today. Absolutely love a bargain and have always been a bargain hunter. I can shop until I drop though mostly now I can shop until both offspring get bored of the buggy and snacks. Which is both good and bad because it stops me from buying things but stops me from extensive bargain hunting. Today I managed to get 3x star trek mugs, 5x tommee tippee bottles and 1 rather beautiful gold and diamante clutch bag from Dune all for the grand sum of £9! Am definitely going to hit more carboot sales this summer. Might even take part in one to clear out some of our stuff.They start so early though… why even is that? I know early birds catch the worms and all that but as we have ascertained, I am a night owl. 6AM is a bit much!
Additional Information and Findings from this week:
– Having big feet is really a menace. My size 8’s (occasionally 9’s) have been trodden on, stubbed, scraped, rubbed and even stuck with glass this week*. The pain of stubbing one’s little toe on the sofa leg or full throttle stepping down on the upturned body of a twirlywoo has left me howling. Heaven knows what the neighbours think.
* Glass shards are still turning up all over the kitchen thanks to George turfing a bottle of bucks fizz out of a cupboard. Splinters of glass, bucks fizz living up to it’s name and billowing out across the tiles whilst a shocked George sat in the middle of it all whilst I shrieked at him to stay still and then turned the air blue with curses. Wet glass, a toddler and sticky fluids. Fuck my life was the theme that morning.
– I changed our living room furniture around and spring cleaned it, with both toddlers in tow. Bravery. Madness. Stupidity? All three perhaps. But I did it.
– I’m fighting off a cold. Again. That’s what comes from the weather being such an indecisive tease. My immunity doesn’t have a clue what’s going on. Which is no surprise as, ultimately, neither do I. Ha!