Getting back into Working Mum mode

The Disclaimer

Before I go into this whole working mum subject, I really ought to do a little disclaimer about the whole working mum vs stay at home mum thing. I get a bit fed up with these labels because, technically we are all bloody working mums. Stay at home is a completely innocuous title really, isn’t it? It conjures up visions of lady’s that lunch, sipping Mai Tais at some sort of pompous club whilst a Nanny takes care of the offspring. I think we all know that, for the majority of us, that is certainly not what stay at home motherhood is.

I’m not a stay at home mum. Not only because we can’t afford for me to be, but also because I haven’t got what it takes to be a stay at home mum. I would go mad. Strike that… As the sertraline nestled in the medicine cabinet beside my contraceptive pill dictates, I did go mad last year. Loop the friggin loop (bonus points for naming the movie that quote is from. Hint: it’s about another Stay at home mum who talks to her kitchen wall… see, madness!).

I missed work. A lot. I missed adult conversation. I’d well up at the fact that I faced another lonely day, tackling two young baby boys and a never ending pile of washing along to the theme tune of Mr Tumble. I only work part time, so those lonesome days still happen. But I actually find myself looking forward to work! It’s like a bloody holiday to be honest.

 

The Adjustment

 

It’s taken some time to adjust to being back at work. Mainly because it is so different. For example, holding adult conversation for the whole day challenged me a bit at first, as I’d find myself struggling to grasp the words I was trying to say! I could really feel my brain getting a work out, as it was forced to help me converse as opposed to just thinking things in my head like I had been doing at home. Just standing up for the best part of 9 hours took me by surprise as well. Slightly different to being sat on the sofa or in a park for long periods of time. Or just ambling around the aisles of Aldi or Asda looking at special offers to save pennies.

I have gone from being at home with the boys, where the biggest decision of the day was which soft play we were going to go to or what I was going to make for dinner, to suddenly being back in a salon environment, styling people’s hair, getting to know a new team of people and how the new work place setting I’m now in actually ‘works’. And it’s actually been ok. The hardest bit has been juggling everything I used to fit into a whole week at home within just a few days at home instead. I’m trying to be organised with things like meal plans and calendars. I’ve relied on my trusty stationary collection to make notes and there are more than just a few post it notes dotted about the place!

 

The Benefits

 

As my maternity leave was coming to a close late last year, I was dreading the idea of returning to work. It all seemed so daunting and I am not the biggest fan of change if it is a big one that hits me square in the face. I like the changes that gently enter your life and only become apparent when you look back. But, this has been really good. Not just for me, but also for us as a family. I have regained some independence back. PB has been spending more time at home and the boys love having us both around to play and have adventures with.

 

I have started to think more about ‘me’. Bought some new clothes and makeup with the pennies I have earned. Just earning pennies is a breath of fresh air! And, although I can still be caught in a tatty top and faded jeans with a mum bun/bare face combo going on, there have been days where I have made eye contact with myself in the mirror and finally felt good about my appearance. I even have under wired bras again! I have my motivation back. That fire in my belly is roaring, whereas stay at home motherhood had dulled it to a slight ember for a time.

 

It’s ok to say…

And it took me a lot to admit to myself that this is how I thrive. I love my children and my family life. I love watching them grow and explore their way through new things every day. But, I need to work too. I need to be challenged…. by something other than multitasking my way through a food shop in Aldi with a one seated trolley, one baby carrier and a week’s worth of meals! To be back in the thick of the hair and beauty industry gives me a real zest for life. Conversation and creativity is back on my agenda again. And, oh, how I have missed it!

It’s ok to say that motherhood isn’t enough. That I want something more than that. It isn’t how everyone feels, but I don’t profess to being everyone. I’m just me. Me, Being Mummy. But I was someone else before my children. And it is nice to see her again.

 

 

 

Comments

  1. February 4, 2018 / 11:49 pm

    Hello ,

    I saw your tweet about animals and thought I will check your website. I like it!

    I love pets. I have two beautiful thai cats called Tammy(female) and Yommo(male). Yommo is 1 year older than Tommy. He acts like a bigger brother for her. 🙂
    I have even created an Instagram account for them ( https://www.instagram.com/tayo_home/ ) and probably soon they will have more followers than me (kinda funny).

    I have subscribed to your newsletter. 🙂

    Keep up the good work on your blog.

    Regards
    Wiki

  2. February 5, 2018 / 7:47 am

    Good for you on getting back into work. I work part time too but I wish I could afford to be a stay at home mum. I love the team I work with, but I don’t really enjoy going to work. x

  3. February 5, 2018 / 8:05 am

    I’m so pleased you are settling into your new work/home life balance. It is a complicated thing being a mum and it’s refreshing to hear your honest account. It sounds like you are getting a nice balance xx

  4. February 5, 2018 / 9:14 am

    Love this post I’m in the same boat when little one goes to nursery in April It will be nearly three years I’ve not worked due to mental illness and being advised not to. I am crapping it. I feel I’m ready now… It will. Be hard I think. Talking to a two year old 8 hours a day then to start talking to an adult. Like you say I think I’ll find this hard. Since having ptsd I find it hard to concentrate To. Hopefully this may improve when I work my brain a bit more or it could go the other way I guess I can only try. I to hate to the phrase stay at home mum. If I list the things I do I’m a week. Just as much hard work. Xx #honeybeelinky thanks for. Gr8 read

  5. February 5, 2018 / 11:12 am

    Totally relate to this lovely. It would be so easy to forget the people we were before having kids. So pleased you’re enjoying being back at work. #honeybeelinky

  6. February 5, 2018 / 6:09 pm

    I think there are benefits to whatever you chose to do. But most importantly you have to do what is right for you and your family X #honeyleelinky

  7. February 5, 2018 / 7:14 pm

    Well done you! Alleluia that someone says it is OK to say that the contribution to society and our families we make as mums may not be enough to satisfy us as women and individuals on its own. It is OK for some women and mums and that is fine too. We are individuals and we must be because I could never celebrate under-wired bras but I respect your right to do so! Was it Shirley Valentine by the way on the film front?

  8. February 5, 2018 / 9:12 pm

    So glad that you are enjoying being back at work – it’s great to find that part of your identity again! And thank you for the super kind words about my post – I totally relate to becoming a mum and losing it! #HoneyBeeLinky

  9. February 6, 2018 / 12:37 pm

    I totally agree with everything you said. Once I’ve actually got to my desk (no-one ever tells you how stressful it is getting a toddler to nursery of a morning is!) work is like a holiday! Going back to work after having a baby means that you get to be ‘Me’ again rather than a child’s mummy. #HoneyBeeLinky

  10. February 6, 2018 / 8:40 pm

    Oh I so get this! I found I needed to do something. I’m with my toddler all week apart from a couple of mornings when I run some classes but I find the days and weeks can be very long and so I do enjoy that little bit of time away. It’s definitely ok to admit this x #honeybeelinky

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