Pregnancy Update: Week 32 – Time To Get Real

I have been trying to find the right words for this post for a while now. I have so many thoughts and feelings coursing through this heavily pregnant and weary body of mine, mixed in with a shit load of hormones and a fair amount of sleep deprivation induced delirium, so you shall have to bear with me and hopefully understand what I am trying to articulate. I even merged it with my weekly pregnancy update video to try and help with things!

When I was young, having a baby was the one thing I wanted to do in life. I have mentioned before that whilst others were dressing up as princesses or playing at being a bride, I was always pushing a pram with a doll (sometimes even an unsure looking cat!) and busying myself in a play house cooking dinner and fluffing up pillows. And then, as an adolescent, I wanted the same things but for deeper reasons than the fact I wanted to fluff pillows! A home and a family became a real desire. My own home broke when I was in my 20s, quite late considering most divorces happen in childhood. As with most cases, the divorce was for the best… very overdue to be honest. But, upon seeing the damage caused to my family through adult eyes, along with having to let go of our family home when it was sold, my determination to have and create a stable unit for myself and my future children was greater than ever.

As far as I know, so far I have succeeded in my quest. I met this guy, who became a good friend, who then became the love of my life. We made a home together. And we continue to have each other. Yes, we bicker and row, usually from over tiredness and about the usual stresses that come from the responsibilities of being adults and parents. But, despite the days where we don’t like each other much, we always know that we love each other and that we have our family…. all 2 cats, one toddler and one bump of them! And I am grateful to have them…. so grateful.

On a personal level though, I can see that there are so many complications that the little girl in that play house, nor that the younger woman in her 20’s hugging her bedroom wall goodbye for that final time, just didn’t factor in about adulthood, motherhood and family life. How could she… she had no real clue of the reality, only the dreams in her head. Reality is completely different and has a way of sending you crashing back to earth with a bump… literally… as I sit here typing, my 32 week baby bump is perched on my lap!

I’ve actually attempted to list these complications in this week’s pregnancy update video. It’s longer than my usual updates, but I needed to talk it all out…. which I have… and did… twice. This was the second version, in the first my emotions got the better of me just a few minutes in and I had to stop to get rid of all the tears and snot! I’d have happily uploaded that version but for the fact I was unconsolable! It was good to let it all out though, and made way for this more concise version!

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Comments

  1. January 14, 2017 / 6:02 pm

    Hi, I'm always amazed by mums who have a toddler and also one on the way. With my baby girl I struggled for energy all the time and that was without running around with a little one. I remember my husband having to pulling me out of bed some days! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy. xx

    #fortheloveofBLOG

  2. January 14, 2017 / 8:11 pm

    Hi! It's intense isn't it? Some days I feel like Wonder Woman, other days I feel like a sloth.lol! I never appreciated how hard it is but if now I have experienced it for myself I will always be amazed and admire parents for all the hard work that is put into raising babies. It is the hardest but most rewarding job out there! Thank you so much for your comment. I have a feeling my OH will be tugging me out of bed in days to come! The last trimester is cruel! xxx

  3. January 14, 2017 / 10:45 pm

    Pregnancy is such a difficult time. I was a hormonal, crying mess with mine despite being someone who basically never cried previously! Tkae the time for yourself when you can snatch it around toddler life! #fortheloveofBLOG

  4. January 16, 2017 / 10:16 am

    Great update. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

  5. January 16, 2017 / 9:59 pm

    It really is isn't it? I don't mean to detract from all the amazing moments it brings, or come across as ungrateful as I truly am so blessed to experience it but I needed to address some of the crap moments because it felt too pressurising to have to be full of wonder and positivity all the time. Thats not real life is it? Hormones really do have a lot to do with it too. They're amazing things but, wow, they are brutal!lol. Thank you for taking the time to comment, will keep trying to take more time for myself when I can. xxx

  6. January 17, 2017 / 8:14 pm

    I wish you all the luck in the world. You can do this! Take care and be kind to yourself. Thank you for linking up to #EatSleepBlogRT 🌟

  7. January 19, 2017 / 11:21 pm

    Ah it's so difficult isn't it, even without being pregnant and being Mum sends you crashing back to earth with a bump when you think back to your youth. Life is hard, but fun in a different way. I look forward to hearing the rest of your pregnancy updates, there isn't long to go now. Thanks for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

  8. January 20, 2017 / 10:37 pm

    Ahh, thank you lovely. Done it before, I can do it again 😉 xxx

  9. January 20, 2017 / 10:43 pm

    It really can be. Most days you're just so grateful and happy for what life has given you but there is always a flip side and when it hits, it really HITS. I wouldn't change it for the world though. See you next linky, thank you for commenting lovely xxx

  10. January 22, 2017 / 3:14 pm

    I think every woman with a 32 week bump has felt the same, hormones dictate at this stage of pregnancy. I sometimes think the best part of being a blogger is that we have an outlet for all those thoughts and feelings that normally stay whizzing around our brains. Thanks for linking up with #TuesdayTreasures

  11. January 22, 2017 / 10:51 pm

    Blogging is a great outlet isn't it?! Am sure my OH is grateful for it too… saves him the earache!haha! Thank you for commenting lovely xxx

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