Remember the time when going out as a couple meant just choosing a restaurant, getting ready and going out the door? No doubt some of you manage to do just that because you don’t have to factor in such things as a sitter, emergency contact info and a well packed baby bag complete with hungry, sleepy, happy Alfie Bear! But for anyone else out there having to consider the latter, I can totally understand why it is so tempting to bypass date night for fear of it being too much hassle and too removed from the safety of the every day routine you find yourself trotting along with during parenthood.
STOP. Just… stop. You won’t fall off the edge of the world, worst case scenarios and feelings of guilt that run through your head and heart as nature’s way of preventing you from deserting your child will not come true or be validated and you will not go down in history as the world’s worst parent.
It is so important to make time to be together as a couple and remember what makes you… well, ‘YOU’. Parenting is hard work and just like with any exertion, it’s beneficial to take a break every now and again. The amount of times I realise that myself and Paulibear have only spoken to each other about Baby Bear and all things related to his needs and home practicalities are phenomenal. Mass debates have been had, usually starting with the phrases ‘When did he….?’, ‘What time should we…?’ and my personal favourites of ‘Have you….?’ or ‘Could you…?’. I suddenly realise that I miss him and us, even without being apart. Resentment sometimes sets in too, and the bitter process of lashing out occurs because of the frustration of being stuck in a loop.
That is when one of us will turn around and say ‘Shall we have a date night? ‘.
Such a time happened a couple of weeks ago and we had a lovely night out. Baby Bear went to spend the evening with my Parents and us two went out for dinner and to the cinema. To be able to enjoy a meal together without speed eating and with both hands free to use a knife and fork was amazing! We stuffed our faces and chatted before cosying up to watch the movie. We held hands, made eye contact and could focus.
Don’t get me wrong, we missed Baby Bear the whole time and agreed that we both can’t imagine our lives without him. We checked our phones like mad idiots and practically ran up to my parents front door out of eagerness to see him.
But it was nice, and is nice, to make that time for being a couple. After all, without 2, there would never be 3, right?