Me, Being Mummy: Week 16 – Buggy Etiquette

Hi Guys!
This week has been one massive learning curve… and not just for the Baby, but for his slightly bewildered mother too!
I’m referring to a lesson I’ve learnt in what I like to call ‘Buggy Etiquette’. I never knew it was even a real thing, let alone something so in depth that it required learning, but trust me, venture out into town with a buggy and you soon realise that there is a lot to consider and conquer.
For one, the lift. Whether in a store, in a mall, in a car park… ANYWHERE that is multi storey… you will find yourself sidling up towards the customary silver doors, only to stare inanely at the numbers and arrows as they go up and down, silently panicking that no one has pressed the button which will undoubtedly render you to be stuck on whichever floor you find yourself on forever, patiently (ahem) waiting until you hear the ‘ping’ that signals for you to navigate yourself and all your baby paraphernalia into the little vertical motioned box without scuffing anyone’s heels/running over little people (aka toddlers)/bashing into the walls of the lift/all of the above.
In fact, it’s even a miracle to get into the lift! Which brings me to revelation two: You must resist the urge to turn the buggy into a bulldozer and queue patiently. There’s mostly a polite understanding and empathy between all mum’s that get into a lift and a determination to squidge as many in as possible. No one gets left behind! Most of the time any way…. the other day was an exception.  I spent what felt like an eternity waiting for a lift in Primark and then because I was propping myself up against a pillar (sleep deprivation + broken air con = melting, sleepy mummy) a few other mums decided to bypass me and load their precious cargo into the lift before I could even say boo to a goose!
Oh the rage! It shocked me that I could feel the same degree of rage that you might whilst in your car being carved up at a junction or even the trolley rage that you feel when someone charges in front of you in Tesco and nabs the bunch of bananas that you were eyeing up.
Couple rage with the fact that Teddy had started to protest at waiting too long as well and the mum’s soon realised I was there and held back so that I could claim rightful place in the lift. Which brings me to my third revelation…
A screaming baby in a buggy is the ultimate flashing beacon to make people stare at you whilst you’re out shopping. Oh the looks! They range from pity, to annoyance to disgust and I even had someone venture forth to me in another lift adventure to say ‘Aww…. He’s very hungry isn’t he? You’d better feed him’.
Errr… yep, thanks for that. I was wondering what my baby was trying to tell me.
Luckily we all arrived at the ground floor and I was able to get away from the stifling atmosphere. To be honest,  Teddy actually stopped crying once we were outside so it was more than likely the stuffy lift that had caused his outburst as opposed to hunger. I resolved to head home anyway and started back for the car.
Which brings me to my final lesson in buggyness. The art of wheeling through the slalom that is a crowded street/shop/shopping centre. Just walking normally through these places is a challenge anyway. You have people darting in all directions, or not… in some cases you get the ones who just stop dead in front of you which really mixes up the pace and challenges you not to create a human pile up on the pavement outside Marks and Spencer.
With a buggy, it’s even trickier because you can effectively ‘run over’ people.. mostly their feet bear the brunt of the injury and a very pinched look of annoyance and pain gets shot at you. Then again, it’s the fear of getting injured that actually signals people to get out of the way, especially of you maintain a steady and determined pace. Automatic doors are heaven sent and I’m glad we chose the Baby Jogger pram because it is super duper light and manageable with just one hand if need be. Just because you use a pram like a bulldozer doesn’t mean you’d like it to weigh the same as one… that would be a disaster!

Happy buggy slumber

Additional information and findings from this week : 

– Managing to get your baby off to sleep in the buggy before hitting the shops makes you feel triumphant. It means you can browse and peruse the aisles to your heart’s content without bobbing like a chicken in and out of the buggy checking the degree of boredom and discontent showing on their face. Plus Baby Bear looks super cute when he slumbers… never get bored of his face!
– Scowling at mums that push in front of you in the lift queue is very gratifying… until they turn round and say ‘oooh, there’s room if you’d like to get in?’. Then you have a rather pink faced ride and feel shameful for being such a grouch.
– Mummy guilt hits again when you realise you have spent the day buying materialistic possessions when you should probably have taken your child to an amazing sensory class touching fluff and sequins… or sat in a field admiring butterflies and the wonder of nature. Then you realise that he’s actually found watching all the comings and goings very stimulating and passed out from the excitement of it all… then you feel like a winner!
-Baby Bear shook a rattle by himself this week! Funny to think that one day I shall be walking and talking with him without a second thought in comparison to the heart bursting with pride and excitement feeling that overwhelmed me when he did it the other day. I could have cried I was that proud…. ridiculous! 
– We had our first experience at mother and baby group this week which went much better than I expected. No scary singing songs as it has only just started out and it wasn’t super busy either. I basically just sat and spoke with other mums about routines, feeding, milestones and the marvel that is motherhood. Anyone else would have been bored out of their skull… I’ve even been on that side of the fence myself before, rolling my eyes and wondering how anyone can find nappy brands an interesting topic?! But surprisingly I joined in and enjoyed it and I was proud of myself for jumping in and reaching out to other mums because it was ridiculously daunting walking in armed with just a smile and a 16 week old Baby Bear. Who incidentally loved it too… he joined in the chat with his cooing and found all the bright toys and decor fun to look at. I may have given him a little hi five in the car park when it was all finished…..!

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