#2 GROCERY SHOPPING
Make shopping list. Get in car. Go to Supermarket. Amble around looking at all departments, reading all labels and picking up anything you fancy regardless of pre planned list. Pack groceries, load them into the car and go home to unpack everything into categorised cupboards.
Start planning grocery trip the night before it happens. Pack essentials in baby bag and set car seat and buggy up ready for the off and write a list. On the day of the trip (it has now become ‘a trip’ by the way) pack everything including self and baby into the car and head to Supermarket. Find and possibly fight off another Mummy in order to obtain a trolley with an inbuilt car seat (in absence of this, entwine oneself into a baby sling harness and become a walking form of suspension) and then curse yourself as you realise you have actually forgotten your purse and rendered the past 18 hours of planning to be utterly pointless. Go home, cursing the air blue, feel guilty for using obscenities in front of your infant and then start again for attempt no.2 tomorrow.
The next day, repeat all of the above preparations and congratulate oneself on remembering purse whilst entering the supermarket. Bypass all unnecessary (but much pined for) aisles such as homeware, clothing, games and DVD’S and get stuck into finding all items on list in manner of Supermarket Sweep, whilst looking over your shoulder for Dale Winton and inflatable food produce. Panic each time baby stirs in case they need feeding/a nappy change/general interaction in the middle of a busy store with lots of judgemental people about. Get to cashier’s desk, heap everything on in no set order and race to the end with a look of ‘please hurry’ to the cashier, who seems to then delight in asking you how your day has been and do I need any help packing. Yes and no are the answers, the ‘please hurry’ look almost turns into words whilst you sling every item into the bags without any care for what happens (except for the eggs… ALWAYS need to be careful with eggs). You pay before heading out to the car and loading up shopping, baby and self. Get home as baby wakes up, plonk him down under his jungle gym to occupy growing mind whilst getting groceries in from car, run 3 frantic trips to and fro whilst checking baby is still breathing under jungle gym after each trip, put refrigerated/frozen goods away to prevent spoiling and abandon the rest in order to prepare a bottle for now screaming baby under the jungle gym. Finally get to pack it all away at around 8pm.
Repeat whole system once, sometimes twice, weekly.