TO SUM UP: DRUNKEN BEHAVIOUR
This week has been a busy one but a good one, with lots of running errands, looking after baby and fitting in little social snippets here and there over the weekend.
I feel like maternity leave is zooming by! I’d worked for well over a decade before having Teddy and only had the odd week of holiday here and there, so having all this time off is so weird! Nice too. To be able to not have to think too much about tomorrow, or have that rumbling dread in the pit of my stomach upon realising ‘It’s Monday tomorrow!’. Having said that, Monday is traditionally my day off as us hair and beauty peeps work Tuesday – Saturday…. so in honour of authenticity, I have more of a ‘ughh, it’s Tuesday tomorrow! ‘.
That doesn’t mean to say that I have been kicking back, relaxing of course. Motherhood is a job for life, with long old work days, no wages, sick pay and holidays consist of mini break in the shower and a transatlantic stay of quick coffee with friends .
Or, in my case this week, 2 jugs of cocktails in Las Iguanas and a yummy bowl of Wagamamas Ramen with my friend Helen. Paulibear was working a night shift, so my parents stepped in to baby sit (and render the TV mute…. more on that in a second) and spend quality time with Baby Bear whilst I ‘let my hair down’ for a few hours.
Going out as a Mum is totally different to going out as a non Mum. You feel a whole mix of emotions. Tiredness from lack of sleep which makes you wonder why you didn’t just suggest a takeaway in front of a DVD. Freedom from being on full alert and actually being able to process your thoughts at a reasonable-instead-of-break-neck speed. Worry that you didn’t give clear enough instructions about the Tommy Tipee bottle warmer and shall return to find a fire brigade and your mother saying to Mr Chief Fireman ‘We didn’t know it had to be turned off at the wall!’.
Then there is my favourite. Guilt. GUILT! What the hell is there to feel guilty about I hear you say?? And the answer is, of course, nothing…. And everything. It is a constant side effect of motherhood. You feel guilt for needing to pee while their bottle warms up and they scream ‘hunger’ screams from their perch in the living room. You feel guilty for not maintaining eye contact with them so you can apply your mascara. You even feel guilty for eating your lunch because they want to be sat on your lap where the plate is!
So, you can imagine my sense of guilt as I sat on the bus on my way into town, practically salivating over the thought of consuming an ice cold, alcoholic beverage and a non interrupted meal! I reasoned with myself that everyone needs a break and that, rather than feel bad for going out, I needed to embrace it. I owed it to myself dammit!
Cue coming home 4 hours later, tipsy and via a taxi because I couldn’t trust myself to find the right bus stop. I maintained my ‘capable’ face for my parents, managed to take my make up off…. and even managed to fix the sound on the telly because my Dad had pressed buttons on the remote willy nilly and rendered the whole system silent. They’d spent the entire evening without TV, a situation that my mum handled well but that sent my Dad reaching for his phone in order to watch catch up episodes of ‘Vikings’. Seems I needn’t have worried about the bottle warmer, it was the TV they couldn’t handle.
I was so grateful to have them there though. Luckily they had fed and settled Teddy down ready to sleep so all I had to do was wave them off and put him in his cot, before hugging my pillows and waiting for the room to stop spinning.
Luckily it did… right around the 3am feed!
Additional information and findings from this week:
– Taxis in Brighton always shock me on how much they will charge to drive less than 4 miles. It’s disgusting.
– Hangovers were the pits before motherhood…. Now, they are the pits with bells on.
– It’s amazing how you switch into autopilot when your baby needs you when you’re physically ailing…. My hangover was pretty ouch but I swear I snapped out of it quicker because I wasn’t allowed to do the whole ‘wallow in bed eating bacon and watching catch up tv’ thing. We were out for dinner with friends the following day!
– Teddy is getting huge! He now weighs over a stone and is in size 3 nappies… It makes me want to soak up each moment even more than ever. He’ll be going to college soon enough at this rate!
– The healthy eating is still happening despite my weekend of indulgence. Exercise is still ongoing and my fridge would happily cater for the entire cast of Watership Down should they wish to come for dinner.
– Teddy is really smiling now too, but they are still so fleeting that it is hard to capture on a picture so I took this little video in the week to try and do his cuteness more justice…. I think it does but of course, I’m a biased Mummy Bear!