TO SUM UP: A CAT CHASING IT’S TAIL

Hi Guys!

This blog post is again, going up a little later than originally planned. That usually stresses me out and bothers me, but this week has had a recurring theme of lateness with pretty much every activity I have set out upon so why break a trend?? In fact, I have always been a slightly late person. I go to bed late, get out of bed late, turn up late and usually answer messages/emails and texts late despite all my best intentions. I blame my birth. I was born over 2 weeks early via elected cesarean and I swear I must have made my mind up then and there to be tardy ever since.

Usually it is down to piling too much onto my ‘Life Plate’ and running out of time due to impracticality and sheer crappy luck. Take today for instance… I had just 4 appointments booked in, all over the space of 12 hrs. Easy right? WRONG! Throw in the fact I have two pampered pusses who decided to bring home a blackbird and things got pretty hectic. I had to fit in driving to and from appointments, grabbing something to eat so I didn’t keel over, then taking said Blackbird from our place all across town to an independent wildlife expert before driving back across town to continue work again. Have you ever driven along a bypass with nothing between you and an angry Blackbird except a plastic box covered by a towel? Whilst heavily pregnant?? It was an experience….. I even sang and whistled.

NOTE: No Blackbirds were harmed for the purpose of this blog and said rescued Blackbird didn’t even have a scratch on him so is probably back out dodging pampered house cats again…. and for all my trouble he pooped on my towel and the wildlife expert lectured me on having bullying cats and blamed them for being responsible of the loss of 160 million birds each year. I felt like I was being told off by a headmaster for having mean spirited children. Not to mention that, technically, my cats weren’t successful in the ‘loss’ of anything today… except maybe my lunch break.

So anyway, I’m late….. Other lateness this week has included being late for:

– the cinema
– work at the salon
– mobile/home hair appointments
– our antenatal class
– an interview for my replacement at work

…… erm….. yeah, that’s pretty much it.

Part of my lateness is down to fatigue and physical limitations. I now waddle. Involuntarily. I also get breathless due to Baby Bear pushing his bottom/feet/knees up into my rib cage so just walking a little way feels like a marathon. It’s not the end of the world or even painful I’d say…. it’s just uncomfortable. Cumbersome I think is the best description. Like having a sack of spuds permanently strapped to your front! I do love my spud though, he’s worth every effort.

Talking of effort, this week we are holding our baby shower! Decorations have been purchased, the venue hired, to do lists written and one by one, things are falling into place for it. I found myself walking through town yesterday carrying paper plates, plastic cutlery and 7 glass jars (all shall be revealed) and it made me realise just how hard shopping is when heavily pregnant. Gone are the days I could walk around for hours without getting tired. ‘Shop til you drop’ never applied. Now, I drop after one shop!

Which was also a shame because I was hoping to find a dress to wear for the Shower but I couldn’t find anything. I went to a few high street stores but had no luck as materials and patterns weren’t much to be cheerful about. Upon arriving home, rooting through the wardrobe and weeping in mourning over all the pretty dresses that no longer cover my boobs let alone anywhere else, the lovely Paulibear sat me down and helped me pick out 3 maternity things on ASOS, which I had delivered today. Unfortunately, they too don’t fit right at all. One was too big, the other too small and the other (a maxi dress with bright flowers on it) made me look a lot like Mama Cass. I think dresses are not an option at the moment. With my frame and bump, they look rather reminiscent of a boat sail or a tent… or even a kite. Would dread leaving the house for the Shower on Sunday simply to be seen floating up, up and away over the Sussex Downs!

Jeans and a nice top. Perfect option for me I think.

BUMP PIC: WEEK 33

No cats present…. probably off finding another Blackbird.


Additional information and findings from this week:

– As mentioned, we had our 6 hr NHS antenatal class this week. We learnt lots of useful information, all about the 4 (eeek!) stages of labour, pain relief options, massage techniques, early days care for newborns and lots about breastfeeding. Highlights would probably have to be seeing the midwife demonstrate a successful latch of baby to breast using a doll and a knitted boob (you read right, KNITTED??) as well as a KNITTED shade chart of poop colours for baby’s nappies after being born and watching a woman giving birth via a youtube video. 
– I have it on good authority that knitting such props is a genuine occupation and takes much skill and patience.
– Paulibear can make even a dreaded speculum in the middle of a dreaded antenatal class funny by referring to it as a duck and then posing for a selfie with it: 

– Stretch watch status remains unaltered…. I still look like I have been clawed by a feline wearing pink and purple nail varnish.
– I have 7 work days left before my maternity leave starts. This thrills my tired body no end…. but leaves my inner hairdresser self feeling rather lost and frightened. 
– Singing ‘I dreamed a dream’ from Les Mis to an angry Blackbird whilst driving across town does not calm it down. It actually makes it more angry.